PRAISE THE LORD I AM DONE WITH CHEMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That said, I realized last night, while taking a sentimental journey down memory lane from my very first blog post until the most recent one, that it has definitely been FAR too long. Almost a month, two treatments, the END OF CHEMO, graduation, and another year in the life of yours truly have all passed since my last post. AND SO, because so much has happened, and WE have so much to celebrate (for all those who have partnered in prayer and support with us, you can celebrate, too!), I have decided to make this long-overdue post a photo-journey through my favorite month of May, starting with where I left off, after chemo number 11 (which was April 30th).

At chemo 11, the doctors and nurses were kinda freaking out about part of my white blood counts, which were apparently at 90 out of 10,000ish. Yes, that is clearly bad, but I finally pulled my nurse Michelle aside and said, “ok, I understand this is bad, but aren’t we usually at like 100?” to which she replied in the affirmative. I followed up that question by pointing out that, although 90 is clearly bad, when you’re at 90/10,000 versus 100/10,000, it really doesn’t seem like those 10 extra points make that much of a difference, and she agreed, so that eased my mind as people continued to tell me HOW low my counts were. However, since I was flying home the next day for my high school co-captain Becky (Cunningham) Ellis’s wedding, and since the Swine Flu was at it’s peak “freak-out” stage at that point, the only way they were okay with me flying was, YES, if I wore a mask.

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Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Today is officially an amazing day, in my opinion, because it is 75 degrees outside (yes, in Wheaton, IL in MARCH!) and sunny, too! Plus, I am still riding high from having an amazing time over the past week, so I am soaking it all in right now.

First, to comment on Psalm 66:12–I read this last night, and it just seemed so poignant–what with having read The Red Sea Rules, and being reminded of how the same God who faithfully brought the Israelites through the Red Sea brings us through our trials and the hard times just as faithfully. Also, there’s a great Ginny Owens song that I first heard in middle school probably, and I have so loved it since then. It’s called “If You Want Me To,” and my favorite part of it says,

“Cause I’m not who I was when I took my first steps, and I’m clinging to
the promise that You’re not through with me yet. So if all of these
trials bring me closer to You, then I will go through the fire if You
want me to. It may not be the way I would’ve chosen, when You lead me
through a world that’s not my home. But You never said it would be easy,
You only said I’ll never go alone.”

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What a great Psalm! I’m sure many of you know this from the song aptly titled “Your Love O Lord,” which, in its own right, is a great song. I have a very vivid memory of standing on a beach in the Dominican Republic the summer after my senior year of high school, singing this song. It was the end of an incredible–and honestly life-changing–mission trip with my youth group from Bent Tree, and our team of 11 students and 2 leaders was de-briefing at a hotel in Santo Domingo. Part of that included team worship time on our last night, and that’s where we come to me, standing on the beach, facing the ocean, mountains in the distance, a full moon, and not a cloud in the sky, singing this song, and just absolutely KNOWING the words to it and understanding it in such a real way. For many reasons this trip was so significant, and to close it out, it was probably the second greatest night of my life– being able to look out to my surroundings and get such an incredible visual of these words: “Your love…reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness stretches to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice flows like the ocean’s tide.” The song goes on to say, “I will lift my voice to worship You, my King. And I will find my strength in the shadow of Your wings.”

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What a great verse–I have always loved Psalm 18, and especially verse 28, but so much more right now in some days that don’t always seem so light. As I’ve said before, it is so awesome to me that God redeems even the laziest and most “unproductive” of our days by the world’s standards into something imbued with purpose. That said, I love how this Psalm chronicles all the ways the Lord has saved David–and Israel, too–and how it’s such a reminder that, every time, God is faithful! He HAS always rescued his people, and He WILL always turn their darkness into light.

And now, speaking of darkness…. The last few days have been the bad days (5 & 6), but, the best part about day 6 is at the end of the day (so, tonight) when there’s such relief that each day until the next treatment is going to at least be better than the previous one. That’s definitely something to look forward to. My dad has said again and again that, once this is all said and done and I have my last treatment in mid-May, the best part will be waking up each day and knowing that, on this day, I will feel better than before and will know what a gift feeling good is for each day. It’s all about perspective, I think we are learning. As for the extent of my feeling bad on this cycle’s days 5 and 6, it has not been the worst that I’ve had, but they were pretty unfortunate since I developed a cold somewhere in the last week, so instead of just feeling achy and lethargic like I had the flu this round, I actually felt the cold symptoms of that, too, this time. PTL that I have not had a fever, though–seriously, such a praise…especially since I am going home on Friday and then on to Baylor and OU before my next treatment on Thursday, February 5th. So, we will keep praying for healing, for no fever, and that the trip is a great one…slash, also that I don’t have to wear a surgical mask on the airplane. That would be real cool and all, but thinking about that makes me feel claustrophobic. 🙂

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