Greetings from the frozen tundra that is currently Wheaton, IL. Tonight’s low is -11 degrees, with “wind chill values as low as -31.” I kid you not. Needless to say, I will NOT be going outside anytime soon. AND, how convenient to have an actual excuse this winter to avoid the negative temperatures: “my weakened immune system simply isn’t feeling like going outside.” 🙂

Anyway, despite the frigid cold and the fact that Christmas break is now officially over, it is good to be back. My dad and I made the drive up last Wednesday and Thursday, and we concluded the journey by seeing Wicked in Chicago (which was so good!) on Thursday night. Friday morning my dad and I had some time before my mom got in and treatment happened, so we went to a museum and enjoyed some time in the city. That afternoon, my mom flew up, and I had Chemo #3 on Friday afternoon. Saturday morning my dad flew back home–thankfully, since a ton of flights were cancelled over the weekend–and then my mom and I stayed busy with getting me ready for the semester and settling back in. Sunday morning we went to breakfast with her best friend Sandy Boulden, and afterwards, she took my mom to the airport to fly home, and apparently they cried all the way there. Despite the sadness of saying goodbye to the rest of my family, I actually felt pretty well on Saturday and Sunday–I think being pretty active was a good thing as far as keeping me distracted from any fatigue by having to focus on the many errands at hand. My mom was amazing in setting me up–she organized my food and cooking supplies, made me some meals to reheat for times when I don’t feel up to cooking, and was just great, in general. I love my family so much!

Anyway, so that was the weekend. Monday morning, my last (hopefully!) semester of college began–a little anti-climactic I guess, since it just kinda happened, but I stayed pretty busy knocking out some things I had to do, and I even made it to chapel. I stopped and talked to a good amount of people, hung out with some teammates, and then came back and crashed Monday night. Tuesday morning, I woke up slowly by taking my medications, sleeping for another 30 minutes, and then taking my time getting ready. I’ve found that’s the best way to get ready–plan for a lot of time but take it slowly, and then things are generally ok. Praise the LORD that I made it to class on Tuesday–I wasn’t sure whether I’d be able to or not since the ominous “Day 5” was yesterday, but seriously, He is so good, and though at points in the two hour long class I was tired and ready to book it, I survived! So, thankyou thankyou thankyou for your many prayers! That was huge–I wanted to make it to my first class (since it’s pretty much all I have anyway) of the semester, so what a praise! Small sidenote–I went and saw my mom’s two kindergarten classes last week while still at home, and they have been praying for me and sent me a care package for my first treatment and are altogether precious. So, when I called my mom yesterday to tell her that I’d made it to class and was not feeling AS bad as on the previous two “Day 5s,” all the kindergartners started cheering and clapping. That just brings me joy!

Anyway–back to yesterday (Tuesday): I made it through class by the grace of God, and then I met with the registrar who was so understanding, and I finally came back around 2pm to just crash. It was the best Day 5 I’ve had so far, and while it wasn’t a blast, PTL that I even DID anything! My freshman teammate Brooke and I had our first practice back coaching our 14s club volleyball team last night, so I tried to store up energy by being a bum yesterday afternoon, which apparently paid off because I made it through practice as well, which was another huge praise and not something I could have done on my own. Last night I slept a ton…I’ve found that, when I wake up in the middle of the night exhausted but unable to sleep for a few hours, a handy sedative the doctors prescribed to me is helpful…thus, last night I slept for almost 12 hours. I woke up slowly today, and I have been the absolute epitome of a bum today–I mean, besides the fact that I did, at least, make my bed and put away some clothes. Today the usual “Day 5 and 6” routine was more in place than yesterday, so I’ve been watching some TV, doing some reading, and just laying around. While that gets monotonous, it takes a lot of energy on these couple days to even just sit and talk to people, so I’m learning to be ok with not being super-productive once in a while.

On the note of feeling well enough to attend class and practice last night–I was definitely still beat and feeling nauseous at points, but I feel like I’ve learned some things already about how I want to live my life ALL the time and not just now that I have cancer. Every morning–and especially on days 5 and 6 (or other days following treatment), I literally have to seek the Lord and ask Him to give me the strength to get up, make anything of the day, and sustain me throughout it–and He absolutely has! And yet, having to so physically rely on Him to sustain me has also shown me how often, in the “easier times,” I revert back to self-reliance. I know people say all the time something like, “it’s easy to rely on Him when hard things come, but it’s so much harder to rely on Him in the everyday,” but that can definitely be true. Until I had to start really pleading for sustenance throughout the day on a physical level, I do believe my prayers were non-committal and went like, “Lord, give me the strength to go through this day,” as I thought about how it wasn’t going to be too hard to make it through a day when all I had to worry about was the amount of homework I hadn’t done. I feel like I’ve already learned so much about really praying and meaning it when I ask, knowing how much I really do NEED Him. So, as a fairly independent person, it’s been good for me to have to rely on Him each day for physical strength, but it’s also something that I pray I don’t stop doing come May when treatments should end. All of that to say, I have seen so many of His promises be true in ways I hadn’t before–such as trusting that He will give me the strength that I need, etc.–that it’s definitely made His word and promises so alive to me, so that’s another huge praise!

For prayer requests, I would ask again for prayer over the next couple days that the side effects would be non-existent, that God would give me the strength I need for class and practice tomorrow, and to stay warm! Seriously though, when we went in for treatment on Friday and they took my blood, apparently part of my white blood cells were at a count of 150, which is VERY low. I asked my nurse Michelle, “if my white blood cells reach zero, ummm…does that mean I’m dead?” to which she replied “no,” but said obviously my immune system would be SUPER low then. So, as the weather outside becomes more frightful and my immune system stays down in the pits, continued prayer against infections or illness would be huge. As for my hair, there’s still some of it here–it’s probably about half as thick as it was, but we’re still praying for miracles there and that the rest will stay. As much as I hate the strands pulling out more and more, even in this, it’s just made me come to the LORD without pretense and asking Him for this miracle while knowing how small and shallow of a request that is in the grand scheme of everything else. But, even the topic of “hair” has shown us God’s faithfulness and support: My hairdresser Melissa Elledge in Dallas is amazing–aside from praying for me, she styled a wig for me, highlighting it at her house for free and washing my own hair (so that I didn’t have to pull some out while washing it), and even in the things that seem insignificant eternally, God has just put people right in our path that have been such blessings!

Also, I would love continued prayer for my family. My mom’s never-ending cry on the way to the airport was apparently because she hated to leave knowing how I’d feel on days 5 and 6 and not being able to help at all, and so prayer for her, my dad, and Katie and Madelyn as we’re apart would be great. I know they’d love prayer for peace and rest in the midst of this, especially as they go about their normal routines. Lastly, my nurse Michelle flew to Tanzania today to help out medically over there for the next 6 weeks (so I’ll miss 3 treatments with her), so please pray for her safety and that this would be eye-opening and life-changing!

As I’ve tried to think through “New Year’s Resolutions” and other goals for the year, I was hit with the power of prayer and how I’d like to commit to praying more consistently for people. With so many people praying for me and my family, we have, again, felt such peace, and there are so many reasons to praise the Lord each day. Yet, in the midst of praying for my own healing and having so many people tell me they’ve been praying for me, I realized that, over the past two months, I’ve been pretty bad at praying for others. So, what better time to really commit to praying more than a time when I have hours to lay around sedentary or during all the nights when I can’t fall back asleep?? All of that is to say that, I am trying to commit to praying for you–even those I don’t know who’ve been praying for me–because I have seen how God truly does answer prayer and how dumb I am to not intercede for others more often.

I’ll close this week’s edition of “Hannah McGinnis, Up Close and Personal,” with part of this post’s title: “I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the LORD sustains me” Psalm 3:5. Man, on the nights when I just fall into bed and don’t want to feel bad in the morning, this verse is huge. PTL that He redeems even the laziest of my days where I lay on the couch and watch TV while feeling poorly. Praise Him that His mercies are new each morning and that we have the promise that He will sustain us when we wake up to face the day.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,

Hannah