Happy New Year! So sorry it’s been a while, but I hope yall had blessed Christmases and New Year celebrations as well! We have enjoyed the holidays here in Fairview, and even more than the time to rest, I was thrilled with the 80 degree weather we had yesterday. In January. That’s amazing. (although, of course, it’s 43 right now. all good things must come to an end, apparently).

Anyway, how about a recap of the past week or so? I had my 2nd treatment on Wednesday (Christmas Eve) down in Dallas, and it was definitely a different experience than my treatment at Northwestern in Chicago, but it was such a blessing to get in even–especially on Christmas Eve. The doctor was a little more frank, but it gave my dad, my friend Caroline, and I some laughs as the doctor said, “You could be dead” in a very blunt manner. I mean, it’s a true statement when you think about it, but when sitting in a hospital room on Christmas Eve, it nevertheless made us laugh a little and say, “Well, yes, that’s true. I tell myself that every day when I wake up.” So, treatment happened, and I felt great on Christmas, which is a huge praise! Thanks for so many prayers for that! I got a little tired, but then again, at one point, about five of us McGinnis cousins were sleeping around my grandparents’ couches, so I can’t really say whether my fatigue was isolated to chemo or not. The day after Christmas (Friday) I also felt pretty well–again, just a little tired physically–or maybe drained is a better word, since it’s not like I was falling asleep at meals or anything, but I just felt fatigued.

Saturday was when I started to feel the effects with a little more force, and that was day 4 of the treatment cycle. If the past two treatments were indicative of how every treatment will go, then we pretty much know that days 5 and 6 post-treatment are the worst. Go figure. I haven’t had any of the nausea they warn about on days 2 and 3 after chemo (so the day following treatment and the 2nd day after treatment), but man–day 5 and 6 are not fun. Basically, my plan on those days is to sleep late and go to bed early so that the number of hours I wrestle through on those days is minimal. That probably sounds bad, and I can imagine at other times telling myself that the point of life is to not just “get through” the bad days, but that’s nevertheless where I stand right now. Ugghhh. I don’t like those days. On day 5–it’s been isolated to that day both times–my mouth hurts something fierce. To better describe that, if you’ve had your wisdom teeth out, that’s kind of how my mouth feels on day 5. My teeth, gums, and jaw just ACHE, and any time I eat anything on that day (not so much on day 6), there’s a sharp pain at the back of my mouth that goes across my jaw. I have no clue how or why that happens, except to say that chemotherapy basically poisons all fast-growing cells in the body. So, it’s great that it kills the fast-growing cells that are tumors, but it can’t differentiate between the good and bad fast-growing cells, thus why people have problems with their mouths, stomachs, and hair. All of those locations (and probably more, I’m no expert) have fast-growing cells. So, thus the random jaw pain on day 5. The rest of me just aches–again like I have the flu–on days 5 and 6, but on day 7 both times I have started to turn the corner. Also, I found out that only 10-29% of people undergoing this treatment have flu-like symptoms. Real cool. Good thing I’m apparently really rare in some things–contracting a disease only 7000 people a year get, and of those, being in the 10-29% who get the flu-like symptoms.

After days 5, 6, and some of day 7, I start to turn the corner, and starting on day 8 (which was Wednesday of this week), I feel great. Like, VERY normal. And when I’m not running from place to place once I’m back at school, I feel good enough on the 2nd week that I could workout, play volleyball, etc. I just have to brace myself for those other days. Because of that, we’re thinking about moving treatment to Wednesdays instead of Thursdays when I’m back at Wheaton because if we move them, that puts day 5 and 6 on Sundays and Mondays, with the not-as-bad day 7 on Tuesday. Since I only have a class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and since I’ve actually felt pretty decent on the day immediately following treatment, we’re thinking Wednesdays might work better, so that way I can go to class the morning after treatment, have the weekend to get beyond the dreaded days 5 and 6, and then, while day 7 is no party, I at least can foresee getting up to go to a class again on Tuesday. I’ll let you know what we do about that, though.

As I said, about a week after treatment, which is also a week before the next treatment, I feel really normal, which is a huge praise. It gives a little perspective and hope for this whole process, because as much as I just wrestle through days 5, 6, and 7, knowing that I will feel so normal for a week is a huge blessing and bit of hope in the midst of that. Since Tuesday, I’ve been much less sedentary, which is nice for a change. For my parents’ 26th anniversary on New Year’s Day, they took us out WITH them for a change, and it was nice to be at our favorite restaurant (which is Hawaiian and reminds us of our favorite memories) together. Everywhere we go, it seems like we run into someone who is praying for us, or we meet someone who has an encouraging word or knows someone else who had Hodgkin’s before–our waiter at Roy’s had a best friend years ago who survived it and is doing great. So crazy that so many people know Hodgkin’s survivors because it’s rare, and before this, we knew nothing about it at all. But, God is good in that way and has just provided–even with encouragement–in huge ways.

And now on to prayer requests: my dad and I are going to start the drive back to Wheaton/Chicago on Wednesday, splitting it up and arriving Thursday afternoon. We’re gonna hang out in Chicago that night, see Wicked, and finish off feeling great with a bang, hopefully. Friday at 3 I have chemo number 3, which starts the 2nd round of chemo. Sidenote–I cannot believe that it’s already January and we’ve already finished one round of chemo! Things have just gone SO fast since finding out the day before Thanksgiving, that it’s CRAZY to look back at the past month and a half. Praise the Lord for ordering all of our steps, orchestrating all of the appointments, and getting us so far in such little time. That too has given us hope in the midst of some not fun days, as we see that, before we know it, one round has finished, a month has passed, and we’re that much closer to the finish line of this road. Anyway, back to chemo number 3: My mom flies in to Chicago on Friday afternoon after she’s done with school, so she’ll spend the evening with us and stay till Sunday night, trading off duties as my dad flies back home Saturday morning to be with Madelyn as she has her first club volleyball tournament of this massively important season for her volleyball future. Somewhere in this next week, Katie will be heading out to Colorado and trying to figure out what she’s doing and where she’ll be for a while, so I think a huge request would be for safety as we all disperse throughout the country–my dad and I on the 15 hour drive to Chicago, my mom and dad on their respective flights, Madelyn as we ditch her for a night and as she starts her club season, and Katie as she makes the 12 hour drive to the Springs and figures out her plans. If any of that was confusing or sounds exhausting, just know that you get used to it if that’s how your family lives for 21 years.

Anyway, with the third treatment approaching, and the inevitable days 5 and 6 looming around the corner, I would LOVE your prayers specifically on those days. For this treatment, that means day 5 is Tuesday, January 13th (and incidentally my first day of class…bad timing but we wanted to extend my time at home instead of doing Wed. treatment and having to leave like tomorrow), and day 6 is Wednesday, January 14th. And as for specific prayers, just that my mouth won’t hurt, that I can eat–always a good thing, and that there will be no body aches. Also, continued prayers for no other side effects would be so great–especially that I keep my hair. I’m losing strands, but no “clumps” that they warn against, so we’re praying daily that it just thins. We already know that the all side effects are different person to person, but apparently you can get different side effects each time, so feel free to throw in some prayers against the catagory of “other” side effects, too. 🙂

I had dinner last night with some Kanakuk staff I worked with this past summer, and one of my friends (Sarah-Graham!) asked me if the support has been overwhelming, and she said in both senses (good and bad) of the word. I told her that, if she means overwhelming in a good sense, then absolutely yes. I am not a girl that cries a whole lot–I like to tell myself to suck it up, and that works for a long time, until the wall breaks and I have a minor melt-down. That said, if you catch me crying usually, you’re probably one of my closest friends or just in the wrong place at the wrong time. However, I have seriously been brought to tears at random times so often in the past month and a half. With every e-mail, voicemail, text, facebook message, or even e-mail to my parents, I am absolutely touched by the love that people have shown. So yes, that has been overwhelming in a good sense, so thank you. I say that in most posts, but seriously, I don’t want that to go unappreciated. On that note, yes, it has been a little overwhelming in a sense of messages lining up in my inbox–don’t be afraid to e-mail me at all!–but, my goal is to respond to each one–not because it’s a duty or anything, but because I function based off of encouragement in everyday life, so you cannot even know how huge each e-mail really has been in this time. And, because of that, I genuinely want to thank each person for encouraging me and my family, but I’ve been slacking on that. So know that my goal is to respond, but if I e-mail you back in a month and you’re thinking “what is this girl thanking me for?!?” because you forgot that you e-mailed me at the end of last year, please bear with me. 🙂

All I have left to say is how thankful I am for a sovereign God who truly loves us. When I felt bad on the ominous days I won’t mention post-treatment, my mom came up and literally put me to bed, tucking me in, and praying for me. Seeing how much it pains my parents when I’m just feeling BAD has totally put things in perspective for me. I can’t tell you why bad things happen (I mean, I could give you a great explanation of sin, etc., but you know what I mean). I CAN, however, tell you that, just as my parents love me so greatly that it is so hard for them when I’m just laying on the couch in pain, and I want to feel better just to make the pained looks on their faces go away, how much more the Father loves us. He created us, and I guess something I saw this past week when my mom tucked me into bed was just a picture of how hard it is for Him to see us suffer and struggle through things. He’s not some callous deity sitting removed from us and just waiting for us to fall. He is our Father, and just as it hurts my parents when I hurt, He loves us even more than that–probably why he put his Son on the cross for us. That may seem like common sense to yall, but something about seeing your parents suffer over your pain has made that so real to me–just how much He does love us and suffers through things WITH us and before us, too. Anyway, He is good. One of the Psalms I read speaks about that, saying, “Praise Him for His acts of power; Praise Him for His surpassing greatness,” (Psalm 150:2), and that’s something that we have absolutely seen so far in this–not only can we praise Him for all the things He’s DONE, but so much more for who He IS and His “surpassing greatness.”

Thank you again! One round down, 5 to go! Have a blessed week!

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,

Hannah