(though that might have been obvious if you looked at the date of my last post)
Maybe you’re wondering WHY it’s been so long. I could give you a few reasons such as I’ve been teaching high school English, I’ve been living in Hawaii, the sun and sand bleached my brain, I’ve been working on some things, etc. All of those reasons are legitimate.
However, the real reason I’ve been radio-silent is that I haven’t known where to go from my previous posts. At about the year-mark post-chemo, I felt like to continue blogging was a good idea, but since all of my previous posts had been about my lymphoma (I did, after all, start the blog for that purpose), when I was healthy and not a lot was new or out of the ordinary on the cancer-front, I simply didn’t know what to write about.
To write about my everyday life seemed a little self-important and mundane (though it’s been a great adventure for me), and to continue writing about my lymphoma when there wasn’t much news about it seemed like I was either milking it or trying too hard to make it fit.
So, I simply stopped blogging. Though it seemed like at the time I was just postponing having to make a decision, ignoring it was clearly making a decision nonetheless. So, now it’s August, it’s been almost 15 months, and here I am.
There’s so much I could write about–about two years’ worth of adventures in Hawaii, my busy but wonderful summer, or my chaotic and somewhat depressing move back to my parents’ house in Dallas. However, I’m going to keep this re-introduction to blogging short (for today, at least) and tell you that I’m working on writing a book.
That is why I left Hawaii, that is why I don’t have a job, and that is why I’m in the mood to write. I’ve been writing every day for the past couple weeks, and when I arrived to Dallas on August 1st, I had a clear goal in mind: August 1 started “Writing Camp.”
What, you may ask, is this potential book about? Well, if you had to guess, I think you’d get it. It’s definitely not fiction. I always felt like a bit of a fraud trying to come up with something poetic, full of imagery, or creative and new in writing–as if I was trying to write well but knew there was nothing brilliant I could come up with.
No, it’s not fiction. I’m writing about myself. In hopefully a more interesting way than that might sound. Really I’m writing about my experience going through cancer, and though I realize I’m no one famous and also that no two cancer experiences are the same, it’s been on my heart for a while (like 2 years), and I figure it’s time to buckle down, be obedient, and do it.
Thus, I’m writing. I’m at 40,000 words as of today. There’s a great chance that absolutely nothing will come of this, and while that will definitely be disappointing, the only thing I feel passionate about right now is this book(other than returning to Hawaii to enjoy the calm of Lanikai and my ohana there). But that second passion of returning to Hawaii is probably helping fuel my writing–the sooner I finish, the sooner I send things out, the sooner I can figure out what–if anything–might come of this, and the sooner I can go back to Hawaii Nei. 🙂
If you’d like to inquire more about it, please do! I’ve got lots of free time when I’m not writing. 🙂 If you’d like to pray for this endeavor, I’d love that, too. When I asked my teammate Brooke if she’d be okay with me using her name and some details about her, she replied, “Absolutely! I’ve never been in a book before!” to which I replied, “Well thanks…I’ve never written a book before!”
So, mahalo (thank you) for letting me start anew on this blog. To all who read the previous incarnation so faithfully, I have not forgotten you. In fact, I am probably writing about you. But, it’s time for a new direction in this blog. Some things will be different than before (note the title: I still love Psalms, but I don’t want to cheapen them by using verses just because I used to) and some things might still be the same (I do still stand on Christ daily as my solid Rock). A hui hou (’til we meet again)…Aloha!
On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
Hannah