(Written on Friday, 5/14):
Today is a day of celebration. Why, you may ask? Well, today is exactly one year from my last chemo treatment!!! That, my friends, is definitely a cause for celebration.

I’m kinda liking that May 14th is one week from my birthday because I think I’m going to annually give myself a reason to celebrate one week early, which will, of course, carry out through the following week, so it’ll be like one big week of celebration, basically. 🙂 Anyway, as I think back to one year ago, I first cannot believe it’s already been a year, and second think that at the same time, it feels like that was in another lifetime. Weird how that happens, isn’t it??

I guess I really don’t have that much to update other than the fact that today is such a day of praise, but I have been learning some things lately that I’d like to share.

First, in honor of today and looking back while moving forward, below are some psalms I’ve read recently that have reminded me of our God-given purpose after going through different things in life:

Psalm 7:17
“I will give thanks to the Lord because of His righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the Lord Most High.”

Psalm 9:1-2
“I will praise You, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all Your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in You; I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High.”

Psalm 9:11, 13b-14
“Sing praises to the Lord, enthroned in Zion; proclaim among the nations what He has done….Have mercy and lift me up from the gates of death that I may declare Your praises in the gates of the Daughter of Zion and there rejoice in Your salvation.”

Psalm 13:6
“I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me.”

Psalm 16:8-10
“I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure because You will not abandon me to the grave, nor will You let Your Holy One see decay.”

Psalm 18:2, 46-49
“The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn [a] of my salvation, my stronghold….The LORD lives! Praise be to my Rock! Exalted be God my Savior! He is the God who avenges me, who subdues nations under me, who saves me from my enemies. You exalted me above my foes; from violent men you rescued me. Therefore I will praise you among the nations, O LORD; I will sing praises to your name.”

Psalm 19:14
“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

There are so many more psalms and verses that talk about singing and giving praise to Him whom praise is due, but these are a start. I shared with my students in homeroom the other day that, though they’ve heard my story about lymphoma multiple times, I will continue to tell it and different aspects of it since I feel like that is my command now–tell of all the ways God has been faithful. I’ve mentioned before that I don’t want to always bring conversation around to me and cancer, but at the same time, as I think about it and tell about it, it continues to amaze me that that HAPPENED and that God was and IS so good!!! So, I will continue to tell my story.

With that, I have a few more things to update, so secondly, I’ve been reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan lately, and it’s a book you should definitely read. He delivers the truth in a very real and honest way where you know exactly where you stand, but you don’t feel like crawling into a hole and sulking, so it’s just good. Anyway, there was a chapter talking about how we really can’t KNOW all of God, and I started reflecting on that. If you asked me to describe God in one word, I would say “faithful.” However, it’s absolutely ridiculous for me to think that, just since I’ve seen Him work in my life and show His faithfulness in that, I now know all of Him. He is absolutely faithful. But, just because I’ve had those experiences where I’ve seen His faithfulness, that does not mean that is all of who He is. He is so much more than faithful–and though faithfulness is the most recent way I’ve seen His work in my life, I have to remember that I don’t have Him “figured out” fully.

Additionally, the book talks about fearing God, and I’d like to share something that helped me out in a huge way. I’d always been told how to fear God, but really, it seems like something that’s just confusing. However, what’s helped understanding that is thinking about one of my biggest fears: lightning. Yep, not death or failure; lightning. Now, if your house had been struck multiple times by lightning, if you were tall and accustomed to lightning storms starting at Kanakuk while coaching middle school children in the middle of an open field, and if you had looked up all of the info about how lightning can strike, you would be terrified, too. Anyway, here’s the thing with lightning: we know so much about it, right? It typically strikes the tallest thing around, we know how to avoid it and be safe, and we know about its properties. However, did you know that when there’s a storm in the distance, you could still get struck by lightning from miles away? Did you know that, while it usually hits the tallest thing around, that’s not always the case? Sometimes it hits the 2nd or 3rd tallest thing based on what those things are composed of. Yeah. Scary. So, while we can kinda understand it and stay safe around it, it’s a little unpredictable, powerful, and thus, a little bit scary.

So now, follow with me on how that’s helped me understand about fearing God (and granted, this may not make any sense to those of you who love lightning…): just as we can know so much about God, we can remember how He’s done things in our life, and we can recount ways that He shows Himself as faithful again and again, we can’t fully understand Him, we can’t “tame” Him, and we can’t box Him in thinking we know exactly where He’s going to move and how He’s going to work. He is incredibly powerful and decisive in His work, too. We can understand a lot about Him, but it’s ridiculous for us to think that we could predict Him, know Him fully, or even try and box Him in. And yet, I think I do this so often. So, it’s been a good reminder to think about the fact that God is a little like lightning and I should love Him, trust in Him, and run to Him, but I need to remember that I don’t have Him figured all out, nor should I suppose that just because He’s worked one way in my life before He will do that same thing each time He moves.

Anyway, how am I doing health-wise? Well, I’m doing great. 🙂 I feel great, I’m still in the clear, and since it’s been a year since my last chemo, my 1 year check-up scans are coming up in June. I’ll be heading back to Chicago for those, so I’m looking forward to that. I love Hawaii–it’s beautiful almost every day (minus rainy days or vog days–days when volcanic ash from the Big Island makes its way over here), it’s warm, it doesn’t make me want to cry in April because it never ever will snow in April, and it’s made me more of an outdoor-loving person. However, I have a deep love for Chicago in my heart, and I would absolutely live there if it wasn’t cold, so I’m looking forward to being back there in June.

Since my last post things have just been moving right along. We’re down to two full weeks of school and then two exam days which means my first year of teaching has almost come to a close. CRAZY!!! I can’t believe that! I was flying through Chicago last week on Sunday, and it was Wheaton’s graduation day which was even crazier–to think that I’ve been out for a year is unreal. Time flies! Back to school: I’m trying to finish strong, and it’s been a little more of a struggle working with unmotivated students who checked out many weeks ago, so I’ve been praying big time for patience and love.

I have traveled a little already this month, and this coming week I’ll travel again, so it’s made May fly by even faster. Last weekend I flew to Chattanooga, Tennessee by way of LAX then DFW, and actually on my 2 hour layover in Dallas, my dad got to come eat lunch with me at Chili’s Too at DFW airport. 🙂 That was awesome and I am SO thankful for parents who always sacrifice for me–time, money, emotional effort, etc. Anyway, I went to Chattanooga because my first Kanakuk K-West co-counselor, Melissa “Fain” Sparks (we went to NYC last year for spring break) got married to a guy named Cameron who we worked at kamp with as well, and I was a bridesmaid in their wedding. It was such an incredible time–it’s been difficult to find really good deep friends here that I can also just have so much fun with, so it was great to be around such incredible people all weekend. I realized that I miss land a little bit–people ask me if I have “Island Fever” and I can answer that I only do when I leave the island and am reminded of what wide open spaces look like. Anyway, Melissa and Cam’s wedding was awesome and was a great reminder of God’s sovereign plans just in the way he brought them together and has blessed them. Additionally, Melissa’s dad had been diagnosed with a really really rare disease back in March–literally 1 in a million–and so there was a question about whether he’d even be able to walk her down the aisle–much less dance with his daughter, but that, too, was so incredible to see God’s healing power at work, and though it was a trial, Dr. Fain did get to slowly walk Melissa down the aisle. 🙂 So, it was an encouraging weekend. Below are some pics:

Good times. This week I’m flying home because Madelyn GRADUATES from high school. WHAT?!?!? I know. I can’t believe it. That’ll be great family time, plus my friends from TCA are getting married, so it’ll just be a weekend full of celebrations. 🙂

Ok, I’ve gotta run, but that’s what’s been going on lately. Oh–almost forgot. I’m up to 8500 words in writing my book of sorts…some of the people at the wedding encouraged me that I really should write, so that was awesome. We’ll see what happens. 🙂

PTL for continued health and having been out of chemo for a year! As for prayer requests, Mrs. Graham found out they have 3 options for her breast cancer treatment, so if you’d pray for wisdom as they make decisions, patience as they wait, and peace in this time, I know they’d appreciate it. Yall are great. Thanks for continued encouragement and love. As I think back to last year, I am humbled and reminded again and again how I could not have made it through in the same way without your friendship, prayers, love, and incredible support. Wow. Thankyou thankyou thankyou always–I am truly forever grateful. God bless in all you do!

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,

Hannah