I want to start this post by circling back to my most recent post: “Introducing: Still Waters Cancer Retreat.” In it, I shared about the reminder Jesus gives us that the Kingdom of God is like a treasure in a field, and I explained how I’ve been having to remind myself of that before closing, encouraging readers to do the same.

Below, I’ll share about another lesson I’m reminding myself of—or rather, another image, really—but I want to make clear first that, when I share these things and offer up an encouragement or exhortation at the end, my words are not a sermon coming from someone who has it all figured out. On the contrary, most of the time, I read and re-read my posts to remind myself of the truths I’ve been learning and which God has been teaching me, so I’m preaching to myself as much as to anyone else.

I think it’s so important to keep reminding ourselves of what we know is true—and for me in the past year, that’s often even meant actual verbal reminders, especially through worship songs that help me affirm out loud the truths I know about God and need to say aloud as a way of “talking myself into believing” and claiming those truths.

With that said, I want to share this other image that’s been in my mind for a while, another encouragement that aligns with my reminder-to-self that the Kingdom of God is worth forsaking the things of this world. That other image comes from a somewhat unlikely source, especially following my last post where I wrote about the actual words of Jesus. 🙂

I got to spend a couple of weeks in Hawaii at the end of July, sleeping on the couch of my old house on Oahu and then at my parents’ house on Kauai for a week. On the day of my flight, the movie Rogue One was added to Netflix, and I’d really been wanting to see it after having watched it in theaters last December. As I packed, I watched some of it, but I couldn’t finish the movie before heading for the airport, so I thought I’d have to wait until landing to finish it. Imagine my happiness when my seat over to Honolulu had a video screen with Rogue One as an option! I started it roughly where I’d left off, happy to finish the film.

Now, I’m not really much of a Star Wars fan—I’m not against it, and I generally like the films, but it feels wrong to say I’m a fan when there are so many die-hards out there. Maybe I should say I’m a consumer of Star Wars, and a happy one, at that. So it’s not that I was dying to have something from the Star Wars Universe before my eyes.

But the movie had stayed with me. I know fans will be divided on how good or monumental it was as a Star Wars film, but I loved it, though not for the reasons most probably did. Something about its story—regardless of the Star Wars setting—resonated with me since last December, and as I re-watched it while packing and on the plane, I think I figured out why I love it…and why I’ve watched it way too many times in the weeks since then.

This is my spoiler alert for those who haven’t seen or heard of it.

Here’s the thing: I love the main character Jyn Erso; particularly, I love her storyline and dynamic character.

At the start of the film—and even midway through it—Jyn seems to be searching. Due to circumstances out of her control {the Empire being its terrible self}, as a young girl she loses her mother and has to run away for safety when her father is taken prisoner by the Empire. Her life since then has been a string of aliases, crimes, and putting up walls of cynicism and skepticism. In short, she’s lost, searching for meaning, purpose, and a sense of identity.

And then, through more circumstances out of her control {the Rebel Alliance kidnaps her for their own ends}, she eventually she sees her dad again following years of separation. She spends moments with him before he dies, and though she’d helped the Rebels up to that point, it was for personal stakes, namely: freedom. However, after this moment with her dad, Jyn takes up his mission, intent on destroying the Death Star not just for the sake of walking free but because she has something to believe in now. Jyn, once lost and wandering, has found that sense of identity, meaning, and purpose she’s been searching for. She “finds herself” when she gives herself in service of a greater cause.

Jyn’s story ends in sacrifice for the sake of that purpose, but despite the bittersweet ending, I love Jyn’s character and the writing of her story. It’s as if, even though the Death Star is literally destroying the planet she’s on, as you watch her physically face her impending doom with open eyes, her character gets a triumphant ending.

Giving oneself in service of a greater cause: that’s the part that has so endeared Rogue One to me and kept me thinking about the movie and Jyn Erso. This is also why I’ve always loved Jack Kelly from Newsies—there’s something about a character who’s “lost” and searching until surrendering him- or herself to a greater purpose that just gets me.

I think I love Rogue One and Jyn so much because the idea of giving oneself in service of a greater cause is so integral to our calling as believers.

As believers, we’re warned against storing up treasure on earth, where “moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal” but encouraged, rather, to store up “treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal.” Ultimately, wherever our treasure is, there we find our hearts (Matthew 6:19-21). Jesus reminds us—as do the New Testament writers—to count the cost, to fix our eyes on eternal things rather than temporary things, to take up our cross and follow Christ’s example, and to go for that treasure in a field because it {He} is worth it. Those all call us to give ourselves in service of an eternal purpose.

In short, we’re called to surrender our supposed “rights” and lives for the sake of the gospel. This is where the prosperity gospel just doesn’t compute: Jesus regularly calls His disciples to lay down their lives for His sake. Nowhere does He say if we trust Him, we’ll be healed every time, we’ll get rich and have mansions, or we’ll have an idyllic family or picture-perfect life. On the contrary, Jesus says we probably will have troubles as we follow Him: “In this world you may have troubles, but take heart! I have overcome the world”  (John 16:33).

I think the picture of Jyn Erso confronting her impending death while knowing she had finally “found” herself in surrendering her life to a bigger and more important cause is an image I want to keep with me. In the cheesiest and most earth-bound of ways {Hollywood}, it reminds me of the call to give ourselves for the sake of the gospel, knowing that things on earth are temporary, and for believers, a much greater purpose and eternity await.

That sounds good in theory, but how does that pan out in my life? Well, I’m not saying I’m laying down my life on a daily basis—physically or even metaphorically, though I’m working on the metaphorical part. When I wrote my book, I felt a sincere sense of calling, a need to be obedient to that thing I couldn’t escape which God kept putting on my heart. However, in the middle of the process, I started to have doubts: Why on earth had I given up my job in a place I loved with coworkers who were my good friends to pursue this thing that probably wouldn’t sell that much or be any good anyway?!?

I needed a reminder that obedience to God’s calling is bigger than ourselves, and we so rarely see a full picture of what God is doing with the steps of faith in our lives.

I’ve shared about my life lately in my last few posts, and I don’t want to overstate the situation or make myself some heroic character like one from an action movie. But I also find that the most compelling books and movies which stick with me usually have something to say about life as it truly is—regardless of whether the entire plot or setting does as a whole.

Jyn resonates with me—not because I’m a sacrificial hero saving us all from some Death Star {sorry, world}—but because I get the sense of feeling aimless, searching, and lost at times. I’m not on what the world would call a classical journey to “success,” and sometimes it’s hard to fully ignore what the world values and says. I’d like to think my moves and changes in jobs over the past decade can’t all just be chalked up to my being a “Millennial.”

{Sidenote: why does everyone use that term only as a pejorative? Seriously, I’d like to take a moment to assert that we’re not all terrible and ruining this world and everything. It’s fair that we need work, but I’m still looking for someone to once say “Millennial” without a disparaging note. But I digress.}

In the midst of wondering {fearing} at times if I’m just a classic Millennial bouncing around as the wind blows and lost as can be, reminders of my purpose—whether through Disney and Lucasfilm collaborations or reminders from the Bible—have been helpful. I truly believe God has affirmed my calling to start this cancer retreat and has laid some other dreams on my heart as well, none of which will make me rich, successful, or increasingly datable, but all of which, in service of a greater cause—His cause—have given me great peace amidst the uncertainty.

It’s in being obedient to God’s calling that I keep finding purpose; it’s in giving myself to a greater cause that I “find” myself and my purpose. Our lives are not our own, anyway; they’ve been bought at a price (1 Cor 6:19-20). Remembering the greater cause Jesus modeled by storing up treasure in heaven, laying down His life for the sake of the gospel, and asserting, “not my will but Yours be done” reminds me of where I need to keep fixing my eyes. I might be lost, but I’m found in Christ, and that sounds pretty good.

So today’s concluding exhortation is that you {and by you, I mean we, corporately} rest in the truth that even when we feel lost, we are found in Him. By giving ourselves in service of a greater cause—for Christ and His Kingdom—we are found. In fact, this is our calling, so may we live fully into that calling, one day at a time.